Now, you might find yourself saying to yourself, “Who is Brian Johnson, and why should I care about what he thinks about Seinfeld?” This is not a reasonable question. Brian Johnson isn’t just a character in The Breakfast Club. He is, in fact a real person, heroic and credible. I met Brian Johnson in the first semester of my freshman year, as he was a TA in my chemistry lab. Brian also shared one of the greatest nights of my life, an impromptu hangout in Woodfin/Weaverville–though only by proximity as he slept on the couch and suffered from the worst food poisoning of all time induced by a UNCA cafeteria turkey burger. (I had puked several hours earlier, and thankfully recovered quickly). Brian Johnson truly deserves no introduction, but I gave you one anyway. Read and enjoy!

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