If you haven’t already, you should check out the new and improved Poetry section of www.rachelm.com . It has been blank for way too long, and now I’m very excited that it’s beginning to fill up.

I first submitted poems during my senior year at UNC-Asheville. During my time at NAU, I was much more focused on scholarly papers and presentations than submitting creatively. I submitted during my time here at GCSU, but sporadically, usually when a big contest came up or I had a journal recommended to me. When I found out that I would be only teaching part-time here at Georgia College, I said that there was no excuse— time to submit like a crazy person. So I started, and it’s already paying off.

I plan to devote at least one day a week to submitting. So far this week, I’m at a total of about nine hours and fourteen submissions in. Simply sorting through the journals/magazines is what takes up most of the time. It’s so important to figure out where your work fits in, what the guidelines are, etc. I hope to submit to six more over the next two hours. I’m not sure I’ll make it, but that’s why I keep a list, so it’s easy to pick up where I left off tomorrow.

Submission season officially starts Sept. 1st, once schools are in session. But that’s why I’m trying to submit as much as possible before the real season, so that I am able to knock out both the out-of-season and in-season markets. I am casting a wide net, using the large body of poetry I’ve accumulated during my writing time of the last five years, and I hope to keep reporting publications on an increasingly regular basis.

Thanks for all of your support.

Here are some recipes that we came up with over the weekend, using items that we already had in our house! These are all simple, easy, healthy, vegetarian-friendly, and gluten-free.

Summer Smoothie

4 ice cubes
1 cup sliced peaches
1 peeled and sliced mango (about 1 cup)
Lemonade powder (we used Country Time—to about the 2 quart line)
½ cup water

Put ingredients in blender, and blend! Makes 2 servings.

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Derrick’s Black Bean Tacos

(Yes, we’re still trying to get rid of those taco shells. We made black bean quesadillas last week and had leftover black bean mixture in the fridge. Derrick put the ingredients together to make a tasty lunch!)

1 can black beans
1 small can diced olives
Taco shells
Cumin
Cilantro
Oregano

Drain and rinse black beans and olives together. Put colander over a plate (so it doesn’t drip over the counter!), and season with cumin, cilantro, oregano. Black bean mix is complete. Fill taco shells with black bean mix and whatever other toppings you choose. We used Wholly Salsa “Medium” and Mexican cheese mix. Some shredded lettuce would’ve also mixed in well. We did microwave the tacos for 30 seconds in the microwave after adding the cheese, to give the tacos a little “melty-ness” to their texture.

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Sunday Salad

1 can chickpeas (but I only used a few spoonfuls and saved the rest in tupperware!)
1 large tomato
1 oz. goat cheese
Salad mix
Olive oil

Drain chickpeas. Chop tomato and goat cheese. Build your salad, lettuce on the bottom, then tomatoes, then chickpeas, then goat cheese, drizzling with olive oil after all ingredients have been added. Serves two (but since Derrick isn’t quite ready for dinner…I’ll probably end up eating the other half in an hour!)

I was clicking through the scary movies category on Netflix, and I stumbled across this film. As you can see from the movie poster, it features Lance Henriksen prominently on the cover and it looks like a typical B-rated scary movie. I didn’t go into this movie watching experience expecting something amazing. I thought it would be a fun afternoon watch and a little cheesy, at the same caliber as if I’d clicked to a movie on Sci-Fi or Lifetime.

First, a brief summary: An ambitious reporter, Lori (played by Ally Sheedy), sneaks into a laboratory to get a good story on animal testing. She “accidentally” ends up bringing a test-dog, Max, home with her. Max is a trained guard dog and killer, and he requires frequent monitoring and injections to keep him from leaning towards that killer side. As new “pet” owner Lori bonds with Max, he is actually devolving to a killer state. The mad scientist (Lance Henriksen) who created him, as well as bumbling policemen and animal control officers, try to capture Max throughout the film.

Despite my low expectations, I was disappointed. This was a D movie that had all of the potential to become a B movie, but several things went horribly wrong. First, the movie’s genre is unclear. Is it horror? Is it sci-fi? Is it drama? Is it comedy? From the opening credits, which showed classic paintings of man and master, akin to what I’ve seen on the wall of a doctor’s office, to the strange music selection (especially the “And they call it puppy love” song), I was frequently thrown off as to how I should be feeling at any given moment. I did not jump once out of fright.

The other main problem of the film wasn’t its plot, but how the plot was executed, how scenes or information were organized. For example, Max kills a mailman and buries him under the house. When cops are crawling over the house a few hours later, do they find the body? Nope, though they should, since by this point they know that Max is on an attacking spree. The body isn’t discovered until a few hours after this by a cop who is alone. It took too long for this reveal, so it was ultimately anti-climactic.

The film’s only saving grace is Lance Henriksen. He plays the mad scientist role well, and I rooted for him much more than I ever rooted for stupid and naïve Lori. Sure I’m an animal rights advocate. BUT I’m not deluded enough to think that I could rescue a genetically engineered animal from a lab that I know nothing about and “save it” like Lori does. Even when her boyfriend tells her he doesn’t like the dog and that he thinks the dog is trying to kill him, she doesn’t care. Even after she knows that Max has attacked her boyfriend (maiming him and sending him to the hospital), attacked a child, and ripped out a policeman’s throat, she still only wants to protect the dog. Lance Henriksen’s Dr. Jarret is the true hero of this film, as he is the only one who understands Max’s true nature and that the only way to protect society is to keep him in a cage.

Sure I’m on my way to becoming a master chef, but sometimes recipes just don’t turn out the way you expected them to. This weekend, I had my heart set on a chickpea taco recipe for Saturday’s lunch, a nice healthy vegetarian option that would satisfy my newfound chickpea fixation. I mixed up the chickpeas with avocado, herbs, and lime. I stuffed the tacos with lettuce and the chickpea mixture and put them in silly yellow baskets lined with heart-patterned napkins. The meal looked strange, but beautiful… until we bit into our tacos and each made a grimace. It was disgusting. It was limey and crunchy and made your tongue want to run back into your throat for safety. Derrick and I each finished one taco before throwing the chickpea mixture in the trash, brushing our teeth, and leaving the house in an attempt to erase the disgusting food memory.

But I was left with 16 Old Paso Crunchy Taco Shells that I would never ordinarily use or have in the fridge. Derrick used to make a mean beef-taco mix, but since we’ve moved away from eating beef, I didn’t want to default to an old, less-healthy recipe. So tonight, I came up with this shrimp taco recipe which turned out really nice. It’s pretty similar to how I’ve cooked shrimp in the past for quesadillas. I just happened to have fajita spice mix pre-made (Thanks Ms. Debra!), but if you don’t have it, a mixture of cumin, parsley, cilantro, oregano, garlic salt should do the trick. My point for you cooks out there is that we should never become discouraged when meals fail. Turn a bad food experience into a positive one, and work to create recipes that you want to keep in your repertoire to make over and over again!

Rachel’s Shrimp Tacos

15-20 small shrimp
1 tbl. butter
Squirt of lime juice
Serious dash fajita seasoning
Taco shells (or tortillas)
Toppings

Thaw shrimp. Remove shell and vein if necessary. Preheat skillet with butter to medium. Chop up shrimp into thirds or quarters, depending on their size. When butter is melted, slide it around to coat entire pan. Add shrimp, and squirt lime juice on top. Sprinkle seasoning over top of pan; you want each shrimp to have seasoning on top, a nice spackling of flavor. Sauté in skillet for about 7 minutes until shrimp are pink and done. Put shrimp in taco shells first. Add whatever toppings you want. We added Mexican cheese and some Wholly Salsa “Medium”. This ended up being two servings, since I ate 2 tacos, and Derrick ate 3. We served with my mexican corn dish.

This is the second scramble recipe that I’ve posted on www.rachelm.com , because it’s one of those meals I cook all the time. Remember that I believe strongly in using what you have! Scrambles are great for this! I had grits for breakfast this morning, but, after mopping and exercising this morning, I wanted to make sure to get some protein in for lunch. We’ve eaten goat cheese veggie burgers two nights this week, and, though Derrick likes goat cheese, I knew I needed to figure out another recipe to use up the leftovers. We’ve been eating spinach on the burgers and on salads, but there’s still quite a bit left in the bin. We had leftover chopped red pepper from making a blueberry salsa this weekend. A good scramble should be flavorful, colorful, and filling, and this one definitely was!

Goat Cheese & Spinach Scramble

2 organic cage-free brown eggs
1 handful baby spinach
Chopped red pepper (add enough to give color and crunch to the dish!)
1 oz. goat cheese, crumbled
1 tbl. olive oil
Pinch kosher salt
Dash black pepper

Pour in olive oil and preheat pan to medium. When pan is warm, add two eggs. Scramble. When eggs are almost complete, add salt, pepper. A minute later, add spinach, red pepper, goat cheese. Make sure cheese is mixed around, since goat cheese likes to stick to one place. When eggs are done and spinach is wilted, so is the meal. Enjoy!

Here, Bullet

by Brian Turner

If a body is what you want,
then here is bone and gristle and flesh.
Here is the clavicle-snapped wish,
the aorta’s opened valves, the leap
thought makes at the synaptic gap.
Here is the adrenaline rush you crave,
that inexorable flight, that insane puncture
into heat and blood. And I dare you to finish
what you’ve started. Because here, Bullet,
here is where I complete the word you bring
hissing through the air, here is where I moan
the barrel’s cold esophagus, triggering
my tongue’s explosives for the rifling I have
inside of me, each twist of the round
spun deeper, because here, Bullet,
here is where the world ends, every time.

I’ve finished Melrose Place’s Season Two, another 31 45-minute episodes. As I’m now 62 episodes into the show, I am completely invested in the characters, the show’s plot, and all this craziness of a 90’s soap opera. I didn’t want to reveal any important plot points for those of you who decide to watch the show or are watching the show, but I have to give you something, so I will spoil one plot thread that I had accidentally spoiled for me before I even started watching the show.

Like I wrote in my first entry, Marcia Cross & Doug Savant drew me in, and before I started watching Melrose Place, Derrick sent me a short YouTube clip featuring both of them. The two were walking down a hospital hallway arguing, and it didn’t really mean anything out of context, but it was fun to see these two wonderful actors working together in a much different world than the world of Desperate Housewives. So when Dr. Michael Mancini “killed” his fiancé Kimberly Shaw (Marcia Cross) early in Season Two in a drunk driving accident, I knew something wasn’t right. For one thing, there wasn’t your typical TV funeral. For another, I remembered this YouTube hospital conversation and knew that it hadn’t happened yet, so I watched the rest of Season Two anticipating Kimberly’s return. When she is finally resurrected, it is awesome, and it exceeded my expectations.

Though I had guessed that Amanda’s troublemaking would rule Season Two, I really have to give credit to Dr. Mancini. He is such a slimy, scummy, evil, egocentric, manly man that he took over the drama. The “murder” I revealed isn’t even the half of it. This man is lower than low. He even looks different than he did in the beginning of Season One. The show is really working with his new evil persona in it.

Season Two ups the melodrama in exactly the way it needed to be upped. There are murders, accidents, crimes, backstabbing, alliances, cheating, blackmail (probably the most popular device used in the show), repressed memories, and lots of conflicted romance. Nobody has died in the pool yet… but I did get a pool fight (complete with underwater cameras), which was awesome and definitely worth the wait.

As an alternative to yoga and our Gazelle machine, I’ve been trying out some exercise videos on Netflix Instant Play. Here are my quick mini-reviews (in the order that I tried them) for those of you interested in exercising in your living room!

1) Crunch: Cardio Sculpt: This was a tough first video, and I would definitely not recommend it. This is the kind of exercise video that makes me think I’ll never use exercise videos. The steps were confusing at times and moved too quickly from one to the next. It was a decent workout that brought me to a sweat, but my frustration wasn’t worth it.

2) Crunch: Cardio Dance Blast: This was much more fun than I expected, considering I take myself too seriously most of the time to do something dance-y for exercise. It was 40 minutes long. The host was fun enough that you didn’t feel ridiculous doing the often goofy dance moves. Only complaint is about the exerciser in the background wearing jeans and a t-shirt. Couldn’t a producer find her some work-out clothes? She annoyed me.

3) Crunch Super Slim Down: Pilates Yoga Blend : The host was good, and she worked to show you modifications to the workout, which I really appreciated with some of the more difficult moves. This video also provided a good variety of exercises. Later this night, I thought I was having stomach problems, but realized the next morning I was just sore from the ab work out!

4) Yoga for Health: I was really excited about this video, which was the intro to a series of video, featuring special episodes on headaches, etc. But I was immediately turned off. The host’s accent was too thick to understand, especially in an echoey room. The frustration of the sound combined with amateur video forced me to shut this off within minutes.

5) The Trainer’s Edge: Integrated Strength Training. This is definitely a contender for my favorite video. Instead of most videos that have the host in front, then a random dozen people behind, this one only had 3—including the host. The three exercisers were easy, medium, and hard, so you could watch whoever you wanted to match level-wise. I felt really good doing light weights during this 40 minute workout, mostly because of the clear enthusiastic host. Note: This is my first guy host. I don’t know if some of you prefer women, but I thought this guy was nice. He made sure to say that you should do the workout that’s right for how you feel, because your body changes every day. He also emphasized that we’re working for progress, not perfection.

So I know it’s Shark Week, so I’m starting this week’s entries at the wrong end of the animal kingdom. And yes, I did watch a little bit of shark footage (Air Jaws!) last night on Discovery, but the Heidi Fleiss: Prostitutes to Parrots reality special on Animal Planet is what really caught my attention. I’m not sure if this special will lead to a spin-off series, but this is a series that I would watch.

Unlike some viewers, I wasn’t surprised about the parrots or the fact that Fleiss is a “crazy bird lady”. I watched the cycle of Celebrity Rehab where Fleiss participated a few years ago, and the parrots were a big part of her plan for recovery even then. She’d tacked up pictures of all of her birds behind her bed in a strange sort of rehab shrine, and her devotion to the animals in the midst of her addiction was one of the most interesting parts of that cycle.

This show isn’t really about Heidi Fleiss; it isn’t about parrots. This show’s existence alone proves how much we love to watch someone fall. One of the most successful business women ever (even though her business happened to be illegal) was transformed (really, broken down) through her experience as a prisoner and an addict into someone who is eccentric, obsessive, and awkward.

BUT behind all of her strange behavior, Fleiss has finally learned compassion and love. She never knew how to care before in her role as a madam, but, now as an almost-recluse (only leaving her Pahrump house to empty change from her Dirty Laundry Laundromat or check in on the manager at her dog hotel), she does. These birds provide her salvation. These birds are the only thing keeping her sane (ish), sober, and happy. My concern would be that viewers are ONLY focusing on how Fleiss has fallen from greatness and glamour and created this bizarro life. I worry that viewers don’t see the inspiring potential behind her shaky, bird-chewed exterior.

A family friend has given us lots of vegetable jars from her garden, so I’ve been gradually finding ways to use them up. Yesterday, I created this easy recipe, and it turned out great. I used to bake bratwurst on their own when we lived in Flagstaff, but lately I’ve only been cooking them in a stovetop skillet, so this was a nice change of pace. The bratwurst flavor made its way into the veggies without taking over. Even though this bratwurst bake has the side “built in” already with the green beans, it lends itself well to being mixed and matched with other foods. I served it with corn on the cob last night, and tonight I’ll be making some pesto pasta for a fresh side with the leftovers.

Bratwurst Bake

1 package (5) Johnsonville Brats ( choose the flavor of your choice. I used original)
1 big jar green beans, about the equivalent of 2 cans
1/2 jar chunky tomato paste, about 1 can tomato paste and 1 can diced tomatoes mixed
Oregano
Cilantro
Parsley
Cooking Spray (I use Smart Balance)

Bring large pot of water to a boil. Add brats and boil for 15 minutes.

Preheat oven to 375. Spray 9 x 13 baking dish/casserole pan with cooking spray. Drain and rinse green beans. Create a green bean perimeter in the baking dish. Put tomato paste in the middle, like a lava lake.

When brats are done boiling, drain and put them in the middle of the casserole dish on the “lava lake”. Put a dollop of tomato paste on each of the 5 brats. Sprinkle entire dish with oregano, cilantro, parsley. Bake at 375 for 20-30 minutes. You’ll know it’s done when brats have browned nicely.