I don’t fall into the classic story. I never found a mysteriously wrapped plastic magazine in the mailbox. I was never searching for change or baseball cards in my Dad’s closet when I found one hidden in the sock drawer. But my family is, strangely, the main reason why I remain so fixated on Playboy.

My great grandfather (God, I hope I get this story mostly right) was teaching a class. Some boys in the back kept on snickering. After several attempts at hushing them, he went to the back of the room and confiscated the envelope they’d been hanging on to and drooling over. He put it in his desk and forgot about it until the end of the school year. When cleaning out his desk, he opened up the envelope to find the original Playboy Marilyn Monroe pictorial. It came with a plastic “coverup” screen of a blue and green robe to lay on top of the picture and cover the nudie parts.

(Sorry it’s so dark. We had issues with the flash reflecting off Marilyn’s skin.)

He gave this picture to my Mom, who loved Marilyn back in the day. Still the picture ended up in the top drawer of the TV stand, next to some collected menus and Mom’s diplomas. (Maybe the drawer part sucks me into the cliché?) I always knew it was there. I never snuck to look at it or anything. But I did fall in love with Marilyn around the time I was in middle school. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, How to Marry a Millionaire, Niagara, Bus Stop, Let’s Make Love, etc etc. I love them all! I dug up the old picture to find it somewhat heat damaged around the edges from our move to and from Honduras. It became my mission to frame and finally preserve this piece of art/history/beauty. This is one of my most prized possessions.

I’ve watched all five seasons of Girls Next Door loyally, even continuing on to watch Kendra as she left the Mansion and wandered out into the “real world” to become engaged/married/pregnant within a span of months. Bridget is my favorite. With her black cat, love of Halloween, and MA degree in communications, it’s pretty obvious that she’d be my favorite. I have a Bridget bobblehead sitting on my desk staring at me as I type this. She is pretty creepy in her cuteness.

I recently purchased both volumes of Playboy After Dark, and the pilot episode, with Lenny Bruce and Ella Fitzgerald, was HILARIOUS. The door to the Chicago Mansion had a little sign “If you don’t swing, don’t ring!” and these sort of cultural things are just wonderful. I love listening to Hugh Hefner talk about books and beatniks. Sometimes I worry that I was born into the wrong generation.

Moving into our first “house,” I decided to bite the bullet and get a subscription to Playboy. With magazine prices at an all time low, I figured it would be fine, though silly, yearlong investment. Derrick says it’s strange, but it makes me the best girlfriend ever. Both issues have had super funny interviews, clothes tips that are 100% more interesting & classic than Esquire or Maxim, and, of course, famous naked people.

Derrick is fully aware that if the opportunity came up for me to go and live at the Mansion, I would take a temporary leave of absence. The Playboy Mansion would be my dream location, in terms of setting, spoiling, etc. Can you imagine how much writing I could get done there? I’d order a nice big breakfast from the Mansion staff and write until noon. I’d take a break for lunch and visit the monkeys around the property. I’d write until 3 or 4, then go for a dip in the pool or work out in the gym with the other girls. Then of course, dinner with Hef and a movie afterwards. (If you don’t read the Playboy Mansion Blog, I absolutely recommend checking it for Hef’s weekly movie notes: Playboy Mansion Blog) I’d imagine that nowadays bedtime is much more early at the Mansion. And, of course, if I had to squeeze in the occasional photoshoot into my schedule, we could probably work something out.

This is all rooted in Marilyn—the first Playmate. Hugh Hefner maintains to this day that the magazine would have never made it without her. He never got a chance to meet her but will be buried in the crypt next to her. I like that he pays his respects and wants to spend eternity next to to the woman who made his career possible. Sort of romantic!